hipsterinatardis: Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you’re in.
snorlaxatives: 99% sure my neighbors have seen me naked through my window at least 20 times
valentinostclaire: Why does toilet paper NEED a commercial? Who is not buying toilet paper?
yourendorphine: homophobic participating countries who didn’t show the gay kiss on eurovision must pay a fine because eurovision must be shown from beginning to end without cutting anything out and they are banned from eurovision for the next three years i am crying right now i love you europe
rabioheab: grandpa tell us some of your old battle stories from your internet fights
awkwardvagina: have you ever just cried because you’re you
sani-a: why can’t my fat leave me everything else does
whores: whores: Don’t cry because its over cry because you’re ugly
magicconchshell: imagine if you went to go see a horror movie but it was just a slide show of your middle school selfies for an hour
shattystrashstache: real friendship is sending them a link to something terrible so you can both be traumatized at the same time
tickettoheaven: chafing-nipples: dangermat: when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide bananas commit murder suicide that’s pretty fucking metal I’d say it’s pretty fucking bananas